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Let me begin with two quotes that I often revisit, especially when encountering cognitive dissonance:

“The test of a first-rate intelligence,” he said, “is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind, at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.” - Scott Fitzgerald

And:

“A broad-minded person, who can see both sides of a question and is ready to hold opposed truths while admitting that they cannot reconcile them, is at a manifest disadvantage with a narrow-minded person who sees but one side, sees it clearly and is ready to interpret the whole world in accordance with their formula.” - H. Maynard Smith

The second quote resonates more with me, as I often find myself unable to reconcile contradictions. I see these inconsistencies everywhere, even within my own thoughts. Yet, there are times when a decision must be made. In those moments, I strive to choose the side that promises the greatest good or benefits the most people—even if it challenges my own views. My ultimate goal in every interaction is to learn and remain open to other possibilities. While I’ve struggled with this approach for years and don’t always succeed in setting aside my ego, I’ve come to realize that doing so often leads to better outcomes for everyone involved.

This journey toward embracing uncertainty reminds me of another quote that resonates deeply with me:

“I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. I think it is much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers that might be wrong. If we will only allow that, as we progress, we remain unsure, we will leave opportunities for alternatives. We will not become enthusiastic for the fact, the knowledge, the absolute truth of the day, but remain always uncertain … In order to make progress, one must leave the door to the unknown ajar.” - Richard P. Feynman

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Great quotes! Those are very useful.

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I too have been focusing on recognizing that a part of me seems to want to work against my own best interests. Simply accepting this seems to go a very long way toward addressing the problem. I think that half the time, if I'm arguing with someone, it's because neither of us is arguing about the same thing, really. Simply paraphrasing what the other person just said has been a godsend, although actually remembering to do this? That's tough!

This comment is a bit of a sidebar based on what you said that really resonated with me, but the blind spot analogy is really useful too, along with the central thesis.

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It's super hard to do it that's for certain. The more I write on these topics, the more I realize how much I have to apply to myself before I can ever hope to share insights. It's too easy to see it in others. Classic Bible parable of the Speck and the Plank.

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It's a bit like teaching jiu jitsu fundamentals: I had better make sure what I'm showing them is right!

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It’s why I wrote about Embracing my White Belt.

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Haidt quotes Seng'Tsan, "If you want to realize the truth, don’t be for or against." https://innercall.towardthe1.com/seng-tsan-the-mind-of-absolute-trust/

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Great add and very true.

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Another one that I'm going to be sharing broadly. Wonderful insight.

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Love it!

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